Dear Faithful Readers,

I've moved.

Come visit me over at my new digs. And excuse my mess while I remodel for a while. You know how it is when you move to a new place!

Thanks!

Sigh

At lunch today with the whole family:

Little B to me, "If you had to sell me, what would you sell me for?"

Big D, "What would you sell us for?"

Little B, "I would sell you (Dad) for all of the money in the world."

Me, "What about me?"

Little B, "Well after Dad there wouldn't be any money left. So I'd sell you for free."

I'm so glad I quit my job for these kids.

Angie, Sassy, and Me

So in 7th grade I moved back to Oklahoma from overseas and got re-acquainted with an old friend, Sassy, and a new friend, Angie. In the world of 7th grade we had everything we needed to become fast friends. Angie had the same middle name as I did, and Sassy's middle name was my first name. In our minds this made us automatic best friends. We were cosmically connected. Oh, and we were neighbors.

Angie, Me, and Sassy - 7th Grade
Going to the Mall
Yes. We're all wearing the same shirt.
We planned it that way.

I have fond memories of these girls during Junior High and High School. I remember sleep-overs, the time Sassy swore she got drunk on orange pop, and fighting over who was going to marry John from Duran Duran...me or Sassy. (Angie was too cool to join in that fight...or was it smart?)

So today I went over to my Mother's house to raid her pictures, and I found my old year book from 8th grade. In it, of course, were the obligatory notes and signatures from my 8th grade friends who I knew I would know forever.

"Dear Kelly,

It been a really great year !(exclamation mark bubble lettered) Huh? We've gone thru a lot together: fights, fun times, and most of all GUYS!(exclamation mark bubble lettered) Yes, this year we both have gone through at least 40 guys together! (exclamation mark bubble lettered) That's was pretty ex, huh? Good thing you live near me or we would have to get your mama to drive us to each other's houses every half an hour (Because we always get in fights and make up again!(exclamation mark bubble lettered)) Anyway, stay the same or I probably wouldn't be able to stand you, as always!(exclamation mark bubble lettered) Let's play a game, OK? Let's try to name all the guys we've liked this year!(exclamation mark bubble lettered) On second thought, let's not!(exclamation mark bubble lettered) (We'll never get done before next year starts!(exclamation mark bubble lettered) so dude woman, stay cool, gorgeous (cough, cough) sweet, nice, and I WILL TOO!(all bubble letters) (HARDY HAR!) (yes, more bubble letters) Have a bitchin' (not a bad word) Summer and PARTY HARDY! (all bubble letters)

--Luv ya lots--
Sassy"

and here was our friend Angie's note

"Kelly,
We did some stupid and crazy things this year such as being friends with Sassy but I had a great time. Good Luck!
-Angie"

Some foreign exchange student girl that Sassy befriended because let's face it, Sassy like(s) everybody, Angie, Sassy, and me
Prom - 1988

I still talk to Sassy and Sassy still talks to Angie. And even though the three of us aren't still BFF's, I like to think that we're still cosmically connected. Sure we're not neighbors any more, and we're all married with children of our own. But we still have the name thing. And we still have memories of Duran Duran. Oh, and we have the memories of the 40 million guys we liked along with the 40 million fights we apparently had about them.

Me and Sassy laughing 2 nights ago.

Wordless Wednesday - What you don't expect to find in the woods...

Yup. The wet stuff that the bus is sinking into used to be a road.

Question from an 8-year-old

After seeing the DVR'd Oprah show concerning the pregnant man...

"Mom. It's been proven that women live longer than men. What about a woman who used to be a man?"

What would you say to yourself 20 years ago?

This morning I watched an interview on Good Morning America, and a question was asked that resonated with me. The interviewer said, "It's been 30 years since you've started...what would you say to that girl 30 years ago?"

And the interviewed replied, "It's going to come true like you knew it, but it's not going to feel like you think."

I think because I've been spending so much time lately looking over 20-year-old high school photos (I'm doing the class video for my 20-year reunion) this quote really resonated for me. Looking over these photos that are being sent to me has caused me to do some real thinking about that awkward girl 20 years ago.

On one hand I want to shake my head at her, and I wonder how she didn't know how great she really was. On the other hand I've thought about the road blocks placed in front of her, and the choices she chose to make and to not make. For the most part I've cut her some slack. And at other times I've gotten so frustrated because I know what she missed those years in high school.

A few nights ago I went to a meeting for the 20-year reunion, and finally my confused feelings came together. I sat among a group of people, none of whom I knew in high school. These people, for the most part, were our leaders. And looking at them through the eyes of a 38-year-old adult, I saw that some of them deserved the adoration and intimidating feelings we had regarding them. Some of them did not. Living this get together gave me a sense of closure, and finally I was able to say goodbye to left-over feelings I had for that 18-year-old girl who never felt like she was part of something and didn't know how great she was.

And as I looked over the now adults of the class of 1988, I felt calm for the first time among them. For some of us deserve adoration, and some of us do not. But now, I don't really care who deserves it and who doesn't. Now I look at these people as people. And I recognize something that I couldn't have realized as an 18-year-old; we all finished those years of high school in the same place. We all had the same opportunities. But what determines who we are now were our dreams, and knowing, really knowing how great we really were and really are.

And I bet that if each one of us looked back and gave advice to the 18-year old high school graduate, we would say something like...

"It's going to come true like you knew it, but it's not going to feel like you think."

It's all we can say to an 18-year-old who knows it all. And she would be right. But she's also going to be shocked some day as she feels her dreams coming true, and they don't feel in some ways as if they were good enough.

Starving Kelly - I blame it on Twitter.

So yesterday I weighed in and gained +0.2. I call this my breaking even moment. But if I call +0.2 a breaking even moment, then I would have a -0.2 a breaking even moment. But I don't.

Hey.

I never said I was rational.

OK, OK. You caught me. I only sort of believe that +0.2 really is a breaking even moment. Therefore my need to rationalize my gain follows.

Here we go.

1. I had the hell flu the week before so my massive loss the week before doesn't really count. (Oh I didn't tell you did I? I lost 2.6, which is my biggest loss eva!)

2. It was very humid outside which poofed my curly hair out by 22.3 inches. And as everyone knows 22.3 inches of poof at .1 pound per 10 inches of poof equals .2 pounds.

3. Instead of my standard weigh-in uniform of cropped sweatpants and a wife beater (yes...even if it's 10 degrees Fahrenheit outside), I wore a t-shirt with sleeves. And as everyone knows each sleeve equals .1 pound. So...two sleeves equal .2 pounds.

4. I had no hot flashes in the middle of the night the night before the weigh-in, and as everyone knows, one hot flash equals .2 pounds of water weight loss. And no hot flash equals a water retention gain of .2 pounds. It's a fact. Look it up.

and finally

5. I blame it on Twitter. Sure blaming it on Twitter sounds far-fetched. But rediscovering Twitter and trying to keep up with a bunch of ladies who are live Twittering at some baby convention that I didn't even know existed is worth something. You don't believe me? Sit on your bum and try to follow the dialogue and see if you don't gain +0.2 pounds of non-physical activity weight gain.

Go on.

I dare you.

And while you're at it...why don't you tell me your rationalizations.

I need some more for next week as I try to explain away the finishing off of my husband's birthday cake for breakfast this morning.

{This is cross-posted at Life on 20 Weigh Watchers Points a Day. Go visit. Enjoy!}

Happy Birthday!

It's Big D's Birthday today!

Now all of his friends who pretend to not read but leave little "anonymous" comments on my blog I'm outing you.

So go ahead.

Call him.

Send him an e-mail.

Wish him a happy birthday.

Sing him the birthday song on his voicemail if you like.

Tell him how studly he looks in this picture.

Tell him of your secret desires to be just like him.

And how your really wish his wife was yours...

Because she is just so freaking awesome.

So freaking beautiful.

So freaking smart.

So the perfect wife.

Wait.

I think I've gotten off track.

*******

*******

*******

Where was I?

O yeah.

Don't send a lame Birthday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Happy Birthday Big D!

Wordless Wednesday - Optomistic

"Them" and "Us"

So in High School I was a great big nerdy geek accented by the fact that I was in Orchestra AND band and had extremely strict parents who never let me go out except for on the weekends and only if an event were planned umpteen days in advance and everyone who I went out with was known by them. I really had a minimal social life. Nobody knew who I was.

And then there were the popular kids, which pretty much included everyone else, who were not in the category mentioned above.

Basically my class consisted of the "us," the 25 or so like myself, and the "them," the other 525 kids who had a social life.

So what happens when an "us" has to go to a 20-year class reunion meeting with "them" because one of "them" conned the "us" into helping the "them" because the "them" thinks that this "us" has computer skills because this "us" has a blog?

You get this conversation.

Me, "Oh my God. I just realized I'm going to a bar Thursday to meet the popular kids! What in the world do you wear to have drinks with the popular kids? What do popular kids wear?"

Tina, "The Okie my kids go to the right school uniform."

Me, "What's that?"

Tina, "Tight jeans, high heels, and fancy shirt--preferably black."

And you know, she's right. That is the uniform for going out in with the "them" in my part of town.

So, the question now is. Do I conform to a "them" or do I stay an "us?" Or can I still be an "us" if I look like a "them." Or can I be a "them" without having to dress like a "them?" I mean really, this "us" doesn't look so good in jeans these days. Or should this "us" realize that 20 years have passed, and she doesn't really care any more what "them" thinks. And perhaps its time for the "them" to conform to the "us" status because we are just that much more fun aren't we? Or maybe this "us" is thinking too much about this subject, and this "us" needs to get off of the computer and go finish her real work.

And that brings me to a final conversation. Every school year my son, Little B, has a new girl who seems to have a crush on him. Usually it's some girl from the neighborhood, and we'll see her ride by on her bike or drive by with her parents and yell out the window to us in her high pitched excited little girl voice, "Hi Little B!"

This year it's a girl who lives a few doors down, and we were driving by her. Little B says, "Mom, open the window quick. I want to say 'hi'."

Before the window was all the way down the little girl yells, "Hi Little B! I got my hair cut. Do you like it?"

Little B, "No."

From the look on her face you could tell she was crushed.

Big D and me horrified, "Little B! Tell her she looks nice."

Little B, "But she doesn't."

Me, "That doesn't matter."

Little B, "But Mom...she doesn't."

And by this time the little girl has gone off with her friends.

Me to Big D later when the kids aren't around, "So every year Little B has a new girl who has a crush on him. And I think it's because he's nice, or funny, or cute, or charming."

Big D, "Yeah. He wasn't too nice today."

Me with disgust, "I know. You know who he is?"

Big D, "Who?"

Me, "He's the asshole."

And what's an "asshole" in school terms? He's a "them."

How did an "us" raise a "them?"

Perhaps my "them" husband had something to do with it.

Oh, and my "them" husband's response to the "asshole" comment?

Big D (the nice guy "them"), "Great! Maybe he'll do better with the ladies in high school than I did."

Me, "Yeah. Until he gets one of "them" in trouble."

Pause.

Big D, "I'll talk to him."

Me, "Good."

Because this "us" has no idea how to deal with the trials and tribulations of being one of "them." I can't even figure out what to wear for drinks.