What would you say to yourself 20 years ago?

This morning I watched an interview on Good Morning America, and a question was asked that resonated with me. The interviewer said, "It's been 30 years since you've started...what would you say to that girl 30 years ago?"

And the interviewed replied, "It's going to come true like you knew it, but it's not going to feel like you think."

I think because I've been spending so much time lately looking over 20-year-old high school photos (I'm doing the class video for my 20-year reunion) this quote really resonated for me. Looking over these photos that are being sent to me has caused me to do some real thinking about that awkward girl 20 years ago.

On one hand I want to shake my head at her, and I wonder how she didn't know how great she really was. On the other hand I've thought about the road blocks placed in front of her, and the choices she chose to make and to not make. For the most part I've cut her some slack. And at other times I've gotten so frustrated because I know what she missed those years in high school.

A few nights ago I went to a meeting for the 20-year reunion, and finally my confused feelings came together. I sat among a group of people, none of whom I knew in high school. These people, for the most part, were our leaders. And looking at them through the eyes of a 38-year-old adult, I saw that some of them deserved the adoration and intimidating feelings we had regarding them. Some of them did not. Living this get together gave me a sense of closure, and finally I was able to say goodbye to left-over feelings I had for that 18-year-old girl who never felt like she was part of something and didn't know how great she was.

And as I looked over the now adults of the class of 1988, I felt calm for the first time among them. For some of us deserve adoration, and some of us do not. But now, I don't really care who deserves it and who doesn't. Now I look at these people as people. And I recognize something that I couldn't have realized as an 18-year-old; we all finished those years of high school in the same place. We all had the same opportunities. But what determines who we are now were our dreams, and knowing, really knowing how great we really were and really are.

And I bet that if each one of us looked back and gave advice to the 18-year old high school graduate, we would say something like...

"It's going to come true like you knew it, but it's not going to feel like you think."

It's all we can say to an 18-year-old who knows it all. And she would be right. But she's also going to be shocked some day as she feels her dreams coming true, and they don't feel in some ways as if they were good enough.